The Power of Empathy: Leading with an Open Heart
Imagine a workplace where employees feel genuinely seen, heard, and cared for.
Where managers don't just understand issues intellectually but connect with them emotionally. This is the transformative power of empathy in leadership.
Everyone I look, there is a yearning for more meaningful connections.
Empathy provides that bridge - it's about stepping into another's perspective and resonating with their emotional experience. When leaders embrace empathy, they shape an inclusive culture where employees can bring their whole, authentic selves to work.
The Heart of the Matter
Empathy isn't a business strategy; it's a way of relating that affirms our shared humanity. Just as an empathetic teacher fosters belonging for struggling students, an empathetic leader cultivates an environment where all team members feel safe to express vulnerabilities and seek support.
Empathy requires emotional literacy to understand our own and others' emotions. It motivates compassionate action while recognizing the individuals' right to their personal experiences. Practising empathy is recognizing that beneath surface differences, there are universal human threads that connect us.
Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on topics like shame and wholehearted living, outlines the core components of empathy. In her book Atlas of the Heart, she describes that Empathy goes beyond sympathy, it’s about sitting with discomfort, resisting the urge to fix or gloss over pain with silver linings.
The Balancing Act
Giving empathy infinitely is unrealistic; we all have limited emotional bandwidth. As Brene Brown explains, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."
Leaders who pour from an empty pitcher end up exhausting their capacity to empathize. That’s why alongside empathy, they need boundaries to replenish their wells. Protecting personal health doesn’t make leaders selfish or uncaring. It’s what allows them to then step into others’ worlds with an open heart.
My Journey to Empathy
In my early days as a manager, I focused intensely on tasks and outcomes. Over time in different roles, I’ve learned every person has a story behind their behavior. My journey of understanding neurodiversity taught me not to make assumptions about people’s capacities or intentions. Curiosity is key – genuinely inquiring about individuals’ talents and needs.
Empathy became my guiding light to relate to my team in an inclusive way. Small gestures like asking how someone’s family is doing make a big difference. I share parts of my own story so people feel comfortable opening up. Creating psychological safety allows innovation to flourish.
The Delicate Balance
Empathy can provide a window into diverse perspectives. But leaders shouldn’t lose themselves in emotional identification with others. The goal is understanding, not taking on someone else’s emotions as your own. Leaders can empathize while still evaluating situations objectively and protecting priorities.
With empathy comes great responsibility. Leaders must tune into team dynamics compassionately yet firmly uphold standards so one person’s emotions don’t derail group progress. This takes courage and emotional centeredness.
Empathy amongst Complexity
Beyond empathy, today’s leaders need emotional intelligence – self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, recognizing emotions in others. This literacy creates inclusive environments where people feel free to communicate their needs without fear of judgment.
For instance, terms like “crazy” or “oversensitive” shame certain behaviors. Neurodivergence refers to variations in neurological function, allowing individuals to self-identify based on how their minds work. Avoiding insensitive language builds a respectful culture.
Empathy gets tricky when power dynamics enter relationships. A leader may connect easily with some employees, but tension exists with others. Or team members form alliances that seem exclusionary. Addressing these complex social dynamics requires empathy alongside strong discernment.
Brene Brown’s work examines pitfalls that turn empathy into disconnect: silver lining everything, interrogating details, comparative suffering contests, under- or over-identifying. Avoiding these tendencies while authentically connecting across differences – now that’s a leadership superpower.
The Balm of Boundaries
The final key in this empathy journey is healthy boundaries. Trying to meet everyone’s needs leads to depletion. Brené Brown suggests, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Communicate limitations transparently rather than resentfully burning out. Protect space to refill your own cup.
When leading with the head and heart in equal measure, you build a culture with room for human moments. One where the job supports people’s lives instead of competing with it.
Now I invite you to reflect:
When was a time you felt genuinely seen and understood by a leader? What impact did that empathy have on you and your work?
Who in your team most needs empathy today? How can you connect with their experiences even if you've had tensions in the past?
What boundaries or self-care practices help you lead with an open heart? How could you strengthen those skills?
Empathy opens the doorway to our shared humanity. I hope these reflections inspire you to nurture it bravely yet tenderly in all your relationships.
Now that’s the type of world I want to be a part of – how about you?
Lili Boyanova Hugh
November 2023
