Compassion at Work: Nurturing Self and Others in Challenging Times

This week, we gathered a group of leaders at the Center for a Loving Workplace to explore the topic of Compassion. Research on the benefits of leading with Compassion over the past years has led professionals to investigate what used to be deemed as a 'soft skill' and understand how to codify it within individual and teams' behaviours at work.

This Harvard article shares that organizations with compassionate cultures see less emotional exhaustion, absenteeism, and higher loyalty/engagement. Compassion belongs in the science of effective leadership and is key for retention and performance. It should not be viewed as just a "nice to have."

So, what activates Compassion in the Workplace?

Read our reflections below and especially take note of the questions - you can use these on your own, or with your team as you end the year and envision 2024.

Starting with Self-Compassion

At the core of a compassionate workplace is the recognition of our struggles as shared human experiences. This mindset fosters a sense of connection and empathy, essential in today's fast-paced and often stressful work environments. Cultivating self-compassion, as research by Kristin Neff shows, enables us to cope more resiliently in life. Self-compassion is not just a personal virtue but a professional necessity. It helps us to maintain balance and grounding, especially in challenging times. It's a continuous learning process that demands patience and understanding, both towards oneself and others.

Here are a few reflective questions to deepen your relationship with yourself, through self-compassion:

• What simple daily practices help ground you in self-acceptance and inner peace amidst life's ups and downs?

• How might you weave more of that into your life?

• How might that compassion transform difficult emotions, relationships, or challenging times?

Unconditional Gratitude and Acceptance

There are a lot of expectations, especially this time of the year in the Western World. Home decoration, festive dinners, family time, gift selection and exchange. But we can remember that we could also find small joys in ordinary moments rather than these special occasions. What could you do to notice the natural beauty around you as a gift to receive with no strings attached?

Our gathering at the Center unveiled unconditional gratitude and acceptance of the present moment as key aspects of cultivating compassion. Releasing attachments and embracing uncertainty can lead to appreciating growth opportunities in every situation.

Ask yourself these:

• When have you been able to accept imperfections or hardships with gratitude rather than judgment?

• What helped you embrace the gift in that challenge?

Overcoming Obstacles

Compassion does not exist in isolation; it thrives in an ecosystem with other key relational attributes like vulnerability, trust, and transparency. Consider the mid-level manager struggling with poor team collaboration or the senior executive feeling excluded and overlooked. You might be one of them? These hardships stem less from personal failings than from cultural deficiencies in the workplace.

An absence of psychological safety curtails authentic connection across hierarchical divides. Fear-based management rooted in control and incentives blocks compassion’s flow. Processes optimized for productivity leave little space for humanity’s needs. The inner work of self-compassion then clashes with relations governed by old paradigms.

Therefore, wherever we are in our journey towards more compassionate leadership, let us evaluate the broader organizational environment.

• What latent beliefs, hardened habits or outdated policies reinforce separation over shared struggle?

• How might we cultivate courage and wisdom to challenge assumptions that hinder belonging?

• How can we address obstacles to compassion such as inaction, inadequate boundaries, and toxic positivity?

Sitting with Discomfort and Pain

A significant insight from our discussion was the importance of making space to embrace discomfort and pain on the journey towards compassionate leadership.

When conflicts arise or colleagues confide in struggles, the impulse is often to withdraw or problem-solve quickly. Yet in lazily avoiding emotional truths, we forfeit chances for mutual understanding. Like roots penetrating the soil’s darkness to blossom into wisdom, we must plunge into life’s inevitable messiness with courageous presence.

This capacity to hold complexity mirrors the philosophy of nonviolent communication, where judgment gives way to curiosity about unmet needs. It also reflects tenets of transformative leadership, which views vulnerability not as a weakness but as fertile ground for collective evolution. By sowing seeds of insight derived from our own and others’ emotional truths, we can redefine notions of effective management.

Of course, welcoming pain productively demands first making peace with our inner terrain. Childhood imprints, generational burdens and other subconscious forces often trigger our reactions when facing discomfort. Realizing each experience offers potential for self-knowledge, we can approach suffering as teachers meant to refine our human potential.

• Who embodies for you the qualities of courageous presence, emotional integrity and compassionate truth-telling under stress?

• What do you appreciate and learn from their example?

Imagine What’s Possible

The journey towards compassionate leadership promises rich rewards, both personally and organizationally. By nurturing self-acceptance even amidst imperfection, we build resilience to serve others with empathy and wisdom. Moving through discomfort reveals our common hopes and struggles, bonding teams in shared purpose.

This path demands courage to question old paradigms that pit productivity against humanity. It requires faith that vulnerable connection unlocks far greater potential than unchecked striving. Leaders must tend carefully to cultures where belonging outshines fitting in, where souls might flourish not flounder.

Hardship will arise, yet with compassion as our guide, we can transform suffering into understanding. Our colleagues, companies, and communities long for this future where relationships thrive because leadership knows our infinite value lies not in what we do but who we fully are.

The research clearly shows that compassion boosts engagement, innovation, and care. Now we choose what future we shall inherit.

Will we have the boldness to lead with open hearts, embodying the change we wish to see?

Can we hear leadership’s true call - not to perfect systems but to perfect our love and collective awakening?

Lili Boyanova Hugh

December 2023